Fidelity and Physical Intimacy is
a topic that people with in the LDS community and outside tend to stay away
from. However, this is a very important
topic for any marriage.
Elder
Richard G. Scott said, “within the enduring covenant of marriage, the
Lord permits husband and wife the expression of the sacred procreative powers
in all their loveliness and beauty within the bounds He has set. One purpose of
this private, sacred, intimate experience is to provide the physical bodies for
the spirits Father in Heaven wants to experience mortality. Another reason for
these powerful and beautiful feelings of love is to bind husband and wife
together in loyalty, fidelity, considerations of each other, and common
purpose.”
When you think of fidelity, what
comes to mind?
I know that I would defined it as becoming
in a emotional relationship with someone other than your partner. In “Fidelity
in Marriage: It’s More Than you Think,” states: “Fidelity includes refraining
from physical contact—but that is not all. Fidelity also means complete
commitment, trust, and respect between husband and wife. Inappropriate
interactions with another person can erode fidelity… Emotional infidelity,
which occurs when emotions and thoughts are focused on someone other than a
spouse, is an insidious threat that can weaken the trust between a couple and
shatter peace of mind.”
When
we choose to become closer to someone other than our spouse it is a form of
cheating. If you find yourself making excuses
about any kind of relationships than you might want to rethink it.
I
have a co-worker whose wife has asked him to stop hanging out with another
woman even though it is work related and they are good friends. If your partner
does not feel comfortable with who you are hanging out with than maybe you
should tell the friend goodbye.
In
the same talk it states: “Stop thinking in terms of emotional infidelity and
instead use the phrase, “spiritual fidelity.” This phrase underscores the
seriousness of the choices we make because it recognizes the eternal potential
of our marital relationships as well as the importance of acting in accordance
with the promptings of the Holy Ghost. Spiritual fidelity also causes us to
consider the sacred covenants we have made in the temple and how the very
nature of our thoughts and deeds can undermine those covenants. In other words,
if a person is unfaithful spiritually he is not honoring his temple covenants
even though he has not committed physical acts of intimacy.” This talk is
very good at making thinks very clear, everyone should read it.
In today’s world we are told it is
ok to be physical with someone before we are married. However, this can and could lead to things
that someone might not be wanting. Plus, children might be born without having
a mom and dad in the home. God said physical attraction is something that needs
to be between a man and women in the bonds of marriage.
President
Spencer W. Kimball said, “Sex is for procreation and expression of
love. It is the destiny of men and women to join together to make eternal
family units. In the context of lawful marriage, the intimacy of sexual
relations is right and divinely approved. There is nothing unholy or degrading
about sexuality in itself, for by that means men and women join in a process of
creation and in an expression of love.”
Physical
attraction is becoming up a little bit more in conversation in the LDS church.
However, I still think it is not talked about enough. I know as a youth I felt that physical
attraction is a bad thing. However, it
is not that way if it is done in the correct time and with the correct person.
It is important to make sure that we understand what physical attraction is and
that it is a good thing for a marriage.
