Finding Love

FONDNESS

Elder Joe J. Christensen stated “Avoid ‘ceaseless pinpricking.’ Don’t be too critical of each other’s faults. Recognize that none of us is perfect. We all have a long way to go to become as Christlike as our leaders have urged us to become.” When one or both of the people involved starts finding faults in the other person this opens the doorway for contempt to start sneaking in. The memory of the happier times become clouded and hard to see. The harder it is to see the easier it is to find fault in small things. An example my husband can not put his dirty cloths in the hamper. He may put them right outside of the hamper but never in. He has been doing this for more than thirty years. When I am overly stressed or in a bad mood I will get mad about him not putting the clothes where they belong. As soon as I complain about it all the sudden I can find a hundred other things to complain about which I feel he is not doing right. Now for more than thirty years I have been picking up after him yet, it is only when I am pinpricking does it bug me.

Cherish

John Gottman in his book “The Seven Principles for Making a Marriage Work” has games he has couples play to help them remember the times when couples felt closer to each other. One of these games is called Learning to Cherish Your Partner. In the game he has each partner pick ten qualities from a given list. For each quality the partners note one recent occasion when their partner displayed it. Then they say to themselves ‘I am really lucky to be with my partner.” Than when they are alone they reread the list bringing on fond memories of their partner. Gottman says this will help replace the negative thoughts and bring back happy memories and rekindle love lost.

Henry B Erying stated “Love is the motivating principle by which the Lord leads us along towards becoming like him. Our perfect example. / Day by day, hour by hour our lives should be filled with love for others.”  As we serve our partners our love for them will increase. We will become the “Love Machine” we once were.